For The Ladies: Little Rooster Vibrator Alarm Clock

I'm not sure if Little Rooster is supposed to be a euphemism for a little peener, but it IS a vibrator we're talking about so yes it absolutely is. The Little Rooster is a real alarm clock for ladies that you go to bed wearing inside your underwear with its little vibrating end resting on your privates. Then, in the morning, it slowly wakes you up with pleasure. Me? I'll wake you up yelling, "FIRE -- FIIIIIIIIRE!"

Most women become completely unaware of the Little Rooster within a minute of slipping it into their knickers. Toss and turn and it will stay in place. You can even walk around wearing your Little Rooster. Can be soothing for long journeys. Please do not use during take off and landing. Adjust how gently it starts, how intense it gets, the snorgasm level, how long it lasts. The Little Rooster has thirty power levels, for precision pleasure. The motors even run while you set them, so you can tell exactly how powerful the feeling will be.

Now I know what you're wondering, "but why don't they make something similar for men?" And that's because you'd never get out of bed. Women: they're responsible. Men: they'll vibrate their f***ing wieners till they fall off given the opportunity. Official Product Site Thanks to kathy, who wakes up the old fashioned way: to sunrise.